Dead Dog Walking
Dead Dog Walking is an episode of Family Guy. Synopsis Brian gets so sick of being married to Jess, he's willing to fake his own death, just to get out of it. Meanwhile, Chris and Stewie get addicted to vaping. Plot TBA Characters Major Roles *Brian Griffin *Jess Griffin *Chris Griffin *Stewie Griffin *Peter Griffin *Lois Griffin *Meg Griffin Minor Roles *Helen Schlotz *Connie D'amico *Elmer Hartman *Jager *Bryce *Hal *Clifford the Big Red Dog *Samara Morgan (Cameo) *Glenn Quagmire (Cameo) *Cleveland Brown (Pictured) *Consuela De La Morrela (Pictured) Quotes :Lois: Oh, Meg. You have to babysit for Stewie, Saturday. :Meg: Nope. :Lois: Okay. Chris, you have to do it. :Chris: What? That's not fair. I have a party to go to. :Lois: Sorry, Meg found pictures on your father's computer and she's blackmailing us. She can do what she wants until we get some dirt on her. :Peter: I didn't know it was supposed to be hard before I took the picture. ---- :Stewie: You have a pager? :Chris: Yeah. :Stewie: You get paged? :Chris: Yeah, that's how a pager works. :Stewie: Why don't you just get a phone? :Chris: Um, you mean one of your government tracking devices? No thanks, I'm using a pager. Oh, you're looking at your steps? No, the government's watching where you're going. It's not nap time, Stewie. Wake up. ---- :Government Official #1: Okay, Stewie's going to the party. :Government Official #2: Yeah, but where's Chris going? :Government Official #1: I have no idea. He's completely off the grid! :Government Official #2: Dammit! He can't hide forever! :government officials look at a screen, which tracks everybody except for Chris :Government Official #2: Where are you? ---- :Stewie: I see we're smoking. :Teenager: We're not smoking, we're vaping. :Stewie: What's the difference? :Teenager: Smoking is for losers. Vaping is for douchebags. ---- :Brian: I'm a dog. I can hear everything. By the way, the Stranger Things monster just farted. :to Hal the Demogorgon in The Upside Down :Hal: Whoo! Must have been that fat chick I ate. ---- :Chris: You're smoking the vape pen?! :Lois: No, I'm smoking a real cigarette like mothers are supposed to do. :Chris: You're such a hypocrite! At least vaping is healthy! :Lois: Don't be an idiot! Vaping is just as bad and you look like a douchebag! :Chris: No, I don't! I look cool. :Lois: Chris the vape pen Go ahead. Hold it to your mouth. :takes a picture, then shows him the picture of him vaping with a stupid grin :Chris: Oh, my God! I'm a douchebag! ---- :gets put in a cage at the pound :Brian: Jess is having me put down!? Oh my God! This can't be happening! :rabid [[Clifford the Big Red Dog], is shown in the cage next to him] :Clifford: Did you also eat a kid? ---- :Brian: I'm warning you, if you kill me the internet's gonna freak out. ---- :Peter: When is Brian coming back? :Jess: Oh, never. I'm having him euthanized. :Peter: Euthanized!? Oh my God! :hurries to his car and speeds down the road :Peter: Come on, come on! :rushes into a library and looks through a dictionary :Peter: Euthanize ... Euthanize ... Euthanize. ---- :Lois: Well, Brian, I'm sorry that Jess died during the commercial break. ---- :Meg: Lois You're such a bitch. :Peter: She's a bitch? Meg, you said you wouldn't tell Stewie's secret! :Chris: Stewie, you told dad? :Stewie: I had to get it off my chest. I didn't think he'd understand me. :Peter: I understand pieces now and then. Trivia Continuity *This episode directly continues and resolves the events of "The Five Day Marriage". *Lois' Instagram account name is "DaughtryMom". This is a reference to a joke from "Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date", where she said she was a fan of Daughtry. *Brian told his euthanizer that if he killed him, the internet would freak out. This is a reference to the internet freaking out over Brian's death in "Life of Brian". Cultural References *The title is a pun on "Dead Man Walking". Category:Episodes Category:Season 17 Category:Brian Episodes Category:Jess Episodes Category:Chris Episodes Category:Stewie Episodes Category:Multi-Part Episodes